Posted on December 29, 2012

This is my polite way of saying the you (sadly) can’t dress for sh*t and need a stylist asap!

The 2012 “You Need A Fashion Shower” Award Goes To…


My Fave…Mariah Carey *sigh*

This is one the majority of the non-delusional Lambs will agree with me on. There’s no denying that Mariah’s style throughout her career has been more than questionable. Ever since her “Butterfly moment” back in 1996, the innocent, adult contemporary “girl next door” image went straight out of the “sing sing” mansion window, along with the majority of her clothes  and was replaced, over the years, with a overtly sexual, pinot swigging, TaTa showing, minimal clothing Mimi.

Fast forward to 2012, and childbirth has in-fact tamed the singer’s provocative style, as has the her new American Idol gig. Sadly, for one of the most richest and successful women in the world, she still makes a Balenciaga gown look like it was brought from the sale rail at Peacocks (RIP). Why? The accessories she’s been wearing this year are beyond atrocious and in many cases resemble children’s jewellery, the dresses she wears rarely flatter her curvaceous figure and give her the “stuffed sausage” look, and there’s always the need to unnecessarily show off her ample cleavage through cropped jackets and granny cardigans that are 4 sizes too small.

I hope that ol’Mimi gets it together for next year, especially with a new album and American Idol on the horizon. My suggestions would be:

a) Take a backseat and let a NEW stylist make all the right decisions.
b) Wear what’s currently being shown on the catwalks, to help remain more relevant in the media and online, but tailor the look SUIT your figure IF you need to
d) It doesn’t always need to hug your figure.
c) Stop recycling the same dress a million times, you’re not the people’s Princess you’re Mariah Frikkin’ Carey!
d) We’re over the black, brown and red phase, please wear other colours and prints to match your million dollar smile.
e) Keep your make-up artist because that area is always flawless.

Check out a few of her questionable 2012 looks – Believe it or not there’s a mixture of Balenciaga, Zuhair Murad, Haider Ackermann and Dolce & Gabbana in amongst the below mess – Can you find them all?

Gallery Image Source



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